


My Salvation

by thesweetsaddict



Series: ShuMika Week 2020 [1]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dry Humping, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Out, Slight Memory Loss, embracing, references to trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:07:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25587199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesweetsaddict/pseuds/thesweetsaddict
Summary: [For ShMkweek2020's "hurt/comfort" prompt]*References to the fact that they may not be alive without the other, take that as you will.Interlacing our souls together for eternity;With this breath all I can call out is...“I love you.”
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika
Series: ShuMika Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854538
Comments: 8
Kudos: 61





	My Salvation

The only pain that isn’t numbed is the aching of his body as it falls to the floor. From the knees shooting upwards, an electric shock of agony threads throughout the veins and into the mind, turning everything to static except for the voice that sang the final notes of salvation.

“Oshi-san!”

“Oshi-san!”

“Oshi-san!!”

“Itsuki-san-!”

“Shu-!”

He wakes up sucking in such a sharp inhale that it stings, causing him to hyperventilate briefly. Pink hair that looks grey in the night jolts forwards, sweating and desperately trying to swallow down air. Shu can still hear the screams ringing in his ears as he holds the front of his shirt tightly over where his heart lays. Pupils shaking, not knowing where to look except for right beside him. It’s then that he spots the figure that saved him time and time again. In an instant, Shu feels as though he can breathe again. His eyelids lower in relief upon seeing Mika sleeping peacefully, chest falling and rising from gentle breathing.

The first instinct is touch. To take a hold of him, just like Mika had done to him all the other times the memories came flooding back. The second thought is fear. Feeling him means stabilization, but it also means giving in. Giving up. They had promised to be with one another for eternity but if such a day came where that weren’t the case...Where he would be alone… Shu couldn’t depend on him forever and accepting someone’s full hearted warmth was still something he was learning. Plus, he didn’t want to wake him up over something as trivial as a nightmare.

Although as always, Mika can feel his true emotions, even when asleep. His figure shifts and like perfect clockwork, he wakes up. Shu freezes, his arm still extended out from the unconscious need for comfort. Mika rubs at his eyes before yawning. Faded gold and cyan stare back in Shu’s general direction as his heartbeat finally stops deafening him. Voice still rough from sleep but holding concern, Mika squints to try and focus onto him.

“...Shu? What’s wrong?”

Furrowing his brows, Shu scolds himself internally. He clears his throat before responding, fear present in his tone regardless.

“...I-It’s nothing. I’m fine, I just-”

Shu shuffles back slightly to give Mika room as he sits up. Mika turns his head, searching for him in the dark, but due to his night blindness it’s pointless. Instead, he slowly extends his arm to try and feel around for him. As soon as Mika’s warm hand lands on his arm it’s apparent how badly he’s shaking.

“...Can I hug ya?”

The words fluster Shu slightly but being held was what he needed right now, even if he couldn’t admit it himself.

“Wh- you hardly have to ask at this point…”

The warmth immediately envelopes him. Mika’s heart can be felt calmly beating, contrasting Shu’s own which was still panicked. While normally he’d hesitate, the pure bliss from being held takes over and Shu quickly nuzzles his face into Mika’s neck; fingers curling from how tightly he holds onto him. Mika’s hair tickling the side of his face, his comforting scent, and his gentle but firm grip that he holds him with overwhelm Shu to the point where his eyes begin to water slightly.

(I’m pathetic as always...I can’t admit how badly I needed this…)

“...Do you wanna talk 'bout it? ...We don’t hafta ‘f ya don’t wanna but-”

Shu sighs, for once he actually _does_ want to talk about it. He takes another deep breath finally regaining some control back over his mind.

“...I fear I may not be able to go back to sleep if I don’t...Plus, I have already woken you up; I’m sorry.”

Mika pulls back to kiss his cheek softly.

“Don’t be, it’s okay.”

Wanting to be able to actually see each other, Shu opts to turn on the side lamp low enough so that it acts as a nightlight. Mika realizes and moves to allow him but quickly latches on again once Shu leans back, now being able to see him properly. Shu’s taken aback as Mika wraps all of his limbs around him to try and hold on tighter. Arms snaking up his back up to his shoulders, with his head resting where his hands meet them. He takes a shaky inhale before speaking.

“...I-It was about that day...not the event itself but rather directly afterwards...I collapsed didn’t I?”

Shu moves his chin over Mika’s shoulder as well so that both of their heads rest against one another. Mika swallows before responding faintly.

“...Yeah…”

Before he can continue a hand lands on the back of his head. Gently running his fingers through then stroking his hair softly, Mika pets his head. Shu blushes quickly becoming flustered. Although the act itself was nothing new it always made his heart race.

(Petting my head as if I were a child… I’ll never admit that I like it though…)

He clears his throat trying to compose himself.

“My mind has blocked out a lot of what happened during that period but just now...I thought I had remembered something…”

A small smile forms on his face as a thought runs through his mind. Pulling back he leans his forehead against Mika’s, lowering his eyes as Mika’s widen in reaction.

“Back then you...you were the one to call out to me, weren’t you?”

Flustered, Mika avoids his gaze while nudging their heads further together, nodding slightly.

“Forgive me if this is an incorrect memory but...you said my name didn’t you? ...My given name that is…”

Quickly making eye contact again, Mika moves back and starts waving his hands around apologetically.

“I-I’m sorry! I did ‘cause ya weren’t respondin’ ta me no matter how much I called out yer name so I...I…”

Shu notices the anxiety in his tone and cups his face, kissing him softly.

“Why are you apologizing?”

Mika stops flailing around as he raises an eyebrow gently.

“Wh-I... Yer not mad?”

He does the same although much harsher in his confusion.

“No? Why would I be?”

Looking away once more, Mika lowers his voice for his response.

“ 'Cause back then ya-”

Groaning out of resentment, Shu puts a hand over his face. Mika was referring to his old title, one that Nito had given him. The same one that he had quickly come to dislike especially after finally being able to call one another by their given names after avoiding it for so long. In general, his past self was not something he liked to think about.

“Back then I was...ugh... I don’t wish to speak about my old self…but...I’ve put off thinking about it for so long...I don’t think I can anymore...”

He lowers his hand to put it on Mika’s back pulling him closer, making light eye contact.

“...Could you tell me about what occurred that day?”

Mika looks away again, holding the front of Shu’s shirt.

“Yer...yer not gonna like it…”

Shu rubs his back gently to comfort his worries.

“I’m sure... But I have to know, I won’t be able to rest otherwise.”

“ ‘K-Kay... but if at any point you-”

Pulling him close, Shu falls back onto the mattress with Mika on top of him, cutting him off. Mika squeaks in surprise as they land against the pillows.

“I-It’s easier to hear you this way…”

Giving in to make himself comfortable, Mika lays his head onto Shu’s chest as his arms go up to the sides, partially burying themselves under his back and against the mattress. Shu moves his own arms down so that they rest on Mika’s lower back. Rubbing his face against him, Mika stutters slightly as he continues.

“R-Right after the performance ended ya...w-well ya blacked out ta say the least…”

Letting the cowlicks tickle his face, he restricts himself from nuzzling back so that he can speak.

“...Yes I...remember the pain as my knees hit the floor but then everything gets hazy afterwards.”

“W-Well after that I tried callin’ out ta ya but ya wouldn’t respond no matter what I tried but I just knew I had ta get ya outta there…I was much weaker back then, much more than now meanin' I couldn’t carry ya so...I...I kinda had ta drag ya backstage…”

Embarrassed, he groans moving a hand to his temple.

“...I told ya, ya wouldn’t like hearin’ it…”

Shu sighs heavily, he had to know.

“...It’s fine just...keep going…”

“Since I wasn’t strong enough ta carry ya home I tried callin’ yer folks but I left my phone in the club room so...so I made the choice ta leave ya and go get it… and when I came back ya weren’t there…”

Brows furrowing in more than slight concern, Shu stops rubbing his back to think. Assuming that he is upset that he left him, Mika begins panicking.

“I-I didn’t wanna leave ya! I really didn’t but there were no other options…”

Stroking his hair, Shu cuts him off as he lowers his voice into as much of a gentle tone that he can manage.

“You worry too easily, from where we are now I could hardly be upset at things in the past. Do not worry about that. Although...Where was Nito at the time?”

Mika flinches slightly before relaxing and continuing.

“I dunno... I put all my focus onto ya ‘n I blocked out everythin’ else.”

“So he...didn’t try to help you…?”

“No- Well, ’m not sure… I honestly think he was just as shocked about what happened, he froze up afterwards.”

He hums in agreement, not like there was much Nito could do in that situation either, he couldn’t help carry him as he was much too small.

“I’m quite concerned about what you said though... I was not there when you returned?”

Perking up, Mika pulls back a bit to adamantly relieve any of Shu’s worries quickly, not wanting him to get triggered at any point during their conversation.

“Ah, yeah...but it’s okay! Ya were fine! I started runnin’ around lookin fer ya but I found ya. Akehoshi-kun told me that he found ya backstage and tried ta get ya outta there...guess he was thinkin’ the same thing as me…”

Continuing to pet his hair, Shu unfocuses his gaze as he tries to remember although it's so abstract in his mind that it gives him a slight headache trying to decipher it all.

“Y-Ya really ain’t gonna like the next part…”

Shu rolls his eyes out of slight annoyance.

“Jeez...you’re just causing me more anxiety by saying such. Just tell me.”

“Ya um...started screamin’ …”

He definitely did not expect to hear that and quickly lets go of Mika in order to cover his face out of embarrassment and shame.

“I told ya, ya weren’t gonna like it!!”

“I know, I know! God how embarrassing…”

“It was only the four of us there so I don’t think anyone else heard…”

(I was screaming, how could anyone _not_ hear it?)

Groaning and removing his hands so that his voice is audible, Shu’s tone is quiet and hesitant in response.

“...Come to think of it though... I remember Morisawa was there as well was he not?”

“Yeah he was. Ya didn’t wanna be seen by anyone so they got some sheets to hide ya with and put ya on a trolley-”

Like anyone would do after hearing something so embarrassing, Shu immediately starts freaking out, face so red from the blush that it’s viewable even in the dulled light. He starts failing around like he always does when he is overwhelmed with emotion, murmuring curses as he buries his face into his hands.

“I-It wasn’t that bad really! I was able to call yer folks and they got a driver to come ‘n get us so it was only fer a little bit…”

He can’t help but raise his tone as he scolds himself.

“Shit! The more I hear about my old self the more I resent it!”

“P-Please don’t beat yerself up over it…”

Shu sighs heavily before removing his hands and putting them onto Mika’s head, lightly pushing him back down onto his chest so that he can’t see him. Fingers undoing mild knots as he runs them through Mika’s hair, letting him know it was alright to continue once again.

“A-Anyway our ride got there and...w-well…”

His embarrassment shows once again as he snaps back harsher than he meant to. Fearful for a moment before Mika’s seemingly unphased response to his outlash soothes his worries about him interpreting it as hostile.

“Just say it! Things can’t get more embarrassing at this point!”

“Nng...W-Well we had ta get ya in the car yanno so...I asked the driver ta help me but ya started screamin’ again and-and…”

Mika tightens his grip on Shu’s shirt before speaking in such a low tone it’s barely audible.

“And ya...reached out fer me… ‘n… ya wouldn’t let anyone else touch ya after that…”

In an instant, the calm atmosphere is broken as Shu completely loses himself. Quickly sitting up to grab a pillow and throw it over his face to hide himself, Mika falls down his figure slowly so that he lays on the tops of his thighs. Mumbling incoherent curses and words of embarrassment, Shu was like a child throwing a tantrum, something rare but not unseen. Having his childishness get the better of him only proved to make matters worse.

(How on Earth did it get worse!? How!? Perhaps it would have been better not to have known such disgustingly embarrassing things about myself!)

Despite trying to provide reassurance, Mika’s tone is equally as frantic as he tugs at the pillow to no avail.

“Shu! Shu! Calm down it’s okay!”

Any response he could have made is nullified from the pillow as Shu frantically rubs his face into it as if that would resolve things. Secretly hoping that their play fighting will tire them both out enough to go back to sleep, he keeps his grip steady and harsh as Mika pulls along the casing. The chaotic energy fades away quickly however as, within an instant, the tone of Mika’s movements shift into soft, and merciful. Being caught off guard, Shu makes the mistake to loosen his grip which Mika immediately takes opportune of. Easing the pillow over his head, he snakes his way under it and up until they are met face to face.

Breath catching in his throat, Shu doesn’t dare to make eye contact, still much too agitated. Soft lips press against his burning cheeks as Mika lightly peppers his face with kisses which only increase his temperature. Eventually stopping his teasing, Mika finally kisses him properly although he doesn’t push into it at first out of frustration. The kiss isn’t needy by any means and instead is so comforting that it occurs to him it's meant to act as an act of reassurance. Realizing such, he pushes into it a few times before pulling back. As he does he’s met with a mischievous glimmer in the eyes staring back at him.

“...What is it…”

Mika giggles to himself as he smiles, a sing-song tone in his voice when he speaks.

“Mm...it may be troublesome but...I like when ya get flustered~”

Shu fights with himself what to do in that moment, if he let his embarrassment show once more then that would just be giving Mika what he wanted. At the same time, he wasn’t good at controlling himself so the only way he could win this was to make Mika just as flustered, and he knew exactly how to do so. Grabbing the back of his neck forcefully, but not so much that it’s painful, he brings them into a heavy kiss, one that instantly catches Mika off guard. The ever so slightly whimper he does in surprise isn’t good enough though, Mika had his way with him all the time and after seeing his flustered display all night he needed to be taught a bit of a lesson. Letting his tongue out, he presses it against Mika’s lips, the latter opening them quickly to connect their tongues. The fabric of his shirt tightens against his skin as Mika grabs onto him desperately as his fingers twitch and curl slightly. Both of their breathing is audible, but Mika’s more so as he gasps out for breath, Shu kissing him so deeply that he can’t swallow down air fast enough. When he lets out a small moan into the kiss, Shu takes it as the que to ease up. Stopping, he pulls back to admire his handiwork. Mika’s face is just as red as his own now, with the gleam in his eyes fading from how low his eyelids hang out of pleasure. He can’t help but smirk at the sight.

“You’re always so quick to speak but in the end you are the same.”

Mika shakily puts his fingers up to his lips before hiding himself with his hands. He peaks through his fingers, his tone surprisingly whiny in turn.

“Uu...y-ya never play fair…”

“ME!?”

“Ya!”

Lowering his hands, Mika pins him down further into the mattress. Intertwining their fingers as their chests press together. With both of their faces flushed and the faint glow of the lamp illuminating the room, all they can do is stare at one another. With a mix of the light and the darkness engulfing the room, they both break the silence at the same time.

“I love you.”

“I love ya.”

Their low-lidded gazes vanish as they both go wide-eyed before turning away out of flusteredness. The words themselves were nothing new, but saying them exactly at the same time made it really sink in for both of them. However that very same realization strikes something in both of them. Immediate want.

Quickly turning back to one another without even a second to think further they crash their lips together kissing wildly. Nothing else mattered except for each other and the overwhelming desire to show that love urgently.

Mika moves so that he straddles himself over Shu properly as they rearrange their position to be as close together as possible, not daring to break the kiss while doing so. Holding onto one another so tightly as if the other would disappear if not, kissing frantically, missing occasionally due to the dark. Any sense of time fades away besides the current moment. The usual sounds of the house settling, and the life outside being blocked out from their panting and quiet moans that they make into each kiss. Kissing with tongue quickly and messily then kissing normally swapping back and forth until they are both out of breath gasping for air. They finally pull apart to catch their breath, faces burning, chests heaving. With the fluffy and dazed atmosphere it takes a minute for the realization to dawn upon them both, that being how aroused they are.

With the natural instinct being to come up with an excuse Shu opens his mouth to speak but is immediately cut off as Mika grinds softly into him making him gasp out instead. He furrows his brows as harshly as he can before speaking.

“Y-You’re so needy-”

Before he can finish Mika grinds into him again and this time Shu’s hips buck back unintentionally. Mika laughs breathily, groaning in the back of his throat as he continues.

“Hng...y-yer one t-ta talk…”

Shu gives in pulling him back down into another kiss, putting an arm over his lower back to push them further against one another.

“S-Shut it...come here then…”

Mika moves back slightly so that Shu can lay further down. He hastily resumes his position now that they are lying further down, making the contact itself easier and much more stimulating. Moving his hips more forcefully than before, Mika tries curing into himself as he rocks back and forth painfully slowly until he picks up the pace losing himself quickly. Shu groans and whines in his throat as he watches. Seeing Mika like that in front of him pushes him past having any shame as he voices his affections.

“M-Mika I...I love you so-hng...so much...you- hah... s-saved me...I d-don’t think I’ve ever t-thanked-”

Cutting him off by moving even faster, Mika slurs out “I love yous” in between gasping out for air.

“Y-Ya saved m- ah~! Hng..me...t-too yanno... T-Thank you...S-Shu…”

Shu grips Mika’s hips forcefully to stop his movements so that he can clearly speak for a moment and catch his breath. Mika whimpers as he grabs him and then whines trying to grind into him again.

“L-Listen to me for a m-moment…”

Low-lidded, Mika looks down at him trying to control himself, chest heaving hard. Swallowing down a heavy breath Shu speaks, his voice raspy from such ragged breathing.

“I-I’m… I am the one who should be thanking you… Thank you, Mika. If it weren’t for you...I don’t know where I’d be now… Your love, warmth, care, and comfort helped me recover...helped me live... “

Still slightly out of breath, Mika reads the mood and takes a hold of his hand, thumbing over his knuckles as he talks. He doesn’t interrupt since it’s rare that Shu is able to voice his affections so openly but he still lets him know that he feels the same by his gaze and how he holds his hand.

“I will not lie... I still don’t understand how I could be blessed with someone like you- and I’ll stop you right there since I know you’re going to retort. I once thought of Nito as my soulmate but I could not have been more incorrect. You, Mika, are my soulmate. Meeting by chance as children and then meeting again later on… Saving one another… The fact that neither of us may be alive if it weren’t for the other… Fate has brought, and kept us together.”

He takes a deep breath as they move to interlace their fingers with their free hands landing on top of the other, protecting them.

“I…”

Unconsciously he begins looking away but forces himself to make eye contact, raising his voice a bit too loud at first he continues.

“I-! ...I have no doubt that...I want to spend the rest of my life with you...and even afterwards...y-you’ll be with me forever won’t you?”

A smile breaks out across Mika’s face as he practically tackles Shu further into the mattress hugging and clinging to him with everything he has.

“Ya! I’ll always be with ya...as long as we’re together…

Mika pulls back, pressing their noses together.

“I don’t care where we end up.”

Shu closes his eyes, pushing his nose to nuzzle them against each other before pulling back. Mika blushes wildly from the intimate act and laughs out of flusteredness. He looks away before half joking trying to fluster Shu again to mask his own embarrassment.

“Ehehe...I-It almost sounds like yer purposin’ ta me…”

It works as Shu blushes again heavily, ruffling Mika’s hair as he stutters.

“W-Well-! I… we are still young…but- I mean-!”

Flicking his gaze to look back at him, eyes watering, Shu panics briefly before Mika cuts him off cupping his face smiling.

“Yer such an idiot Shu…”

Still never used to being called an idiot Shu blushes and furrows his brows harshly being flustered once more.

“Wh- did you just call me an idio-!”

Mika cuts him off by kissing him softly before pulling back giggling. Shu ruffles his hair again, Mika laughing happily as he does.

“Jeez...you’re more trouble than you’re worth…”

Nuzzling into his hand Mika beams again.

“Mm~ But ya love me~”

He stops ruffling his hair to hold his face softly.

“...That I do…”

They kiss once more, Mika leaning back tracing his hand down Shu’s chest as he eyes him giggling.

“Mm...ya said you’ve never thanked me before so...how about ya show me yer thanks right now~?”

Shu laughs breathily out of embarrassment and realization of his words.

“Hmph! Only if you show me yours in turn…”

Leaning in with a final faint laugh, Mika replies in voice before actions.

“ ‘Course~”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I am late but I hope this turned out okay. Everyone else doing SFW for this prompt but here I am.
> 
> Twitter where I'll be doing the other days and post previews for my fics (this week not included since they are surprises): @Chie61361103


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